physical abuse , threatening

In the name of God

Today i had an unkind experience. I had a fight with my brother. He was threatening me because I didnt accept his request. We have a car and today I didnt let him use our car because I think its my right to use it and its not his exclusive property. it's shared for the whole family. So i refused him. He always  no think he is superior to us and because he has some works to do , Nobody has no rights. I dont wanna talk about his personality and his lack of discipline. In my whole life I've had a fear inside. and I was always wondering what would happen if i oppose somebody in a matter. So this fear controled my life and I couldnt stand by my rights, So i comprimise in all matter. I think the abusing experiene affect your behaviour So you alwayse avoid any confrontation in your life. maybe you get used to this but There would be always a sad feeling and supressed emotions in your unconsiousness and it would bother you for a while. Yesterday i talked about it with my therapist and She advise me to accept my fear and deal with it. She said that you are always worried about the consequense of your actions So it weakens you and as a result you can meet your needs. In the worst scenario what would happen. When you talk ask sombody your needs and talk about your rights, sometimes there would be a confrontation and me some arguments, You dont know it exactly. but its your responsibily to take care of yourself and satisfy your needs. Today im not sad , im sad because this physical fight leads to some pain in my body. my neck and back are aking and i have some pain in my body. but i know that my decision was right and im not responsible for this fight. I just want my rights and there isnt anything wrong with it. i fight for myself. however, I feel this pain in my body maybe i had better to see a doctor to check up for these pains. I remember in the past i didnt have any support from my family and i was always wondering there was somthing wrong with me or i deserved this kind of violent behaviours because nobody helped me to figure out the true justice in these events. My mother supported my brother because He himself was a victom of child abuse. So i could never validate my feelings and understanding what was happening during those age. I just the blame on myself, I didne realize that there is nothing wrong with me, They are hostile and agressive and im just a victom of these behaviours. You know im sad because of todays happening otherwise i feel proud of my slef i have understood that I am right and my sense of judgment is OK , I deserve good environment no metter what my family think about it. I have rights and i would persist on gaining them. Im lovable and deserve best. Im beautiful. I would protect my self and love my self forever. Hossein im proud of you. i trust you and i belive you. Your great.