Vulnerablity

When you leave your comfort zone. when you take up new challanges, You are actually exposing yourself to the possiblity of failing. Although you may feel scared or vunerable, it makes you feel strong. I am a bit nervous now, i feel like i have been beaten in a ring. My blood pressure is high, I'm sad and mournful and i say to myself, I wish i was stronger. But that's the voice of dissappointment. This is the inner critic of me who tells me you are a looser and you cann't do anything about your life.

With all the thing i said, I feel good i thing we sometimes need to experience failure in order to realize that we are actually humans. We are not some heroes who have supernatural powers. In fact, we are normal humans with limit strengthes and cerain capacity of emotions and power. 

I am somehow happy that i lost the game. from now on i can do whatever i want. i can choos daunting challanges to take and aim high because The worst case scenario is that i might loose and i might ruin the plan. It's not the end of the world. It's actually a natural happenig. 

Tommorrow I'm going to go to an insurance represantative to work as an intern there. Because i wanna start my career as an insurer. It may seems a bit strange to many people, cause i'm a mechanical engineer. I feel i can be successful at this job, though.