Difference between First step in SA and Coda

 I was reading the First step of SA. The description is easy to understand. I got that as we cant contro; ourselves againts lust, We have to be aware of what we are doing. For example if you are watching nude pictures of people, You would probebly put yourself in a situation which lust will take control of you. So to be all clean and in peace you should pay attention to what you are doing and what is going in your mind. There is a beatiful sentence in the book. it said we are not powerless over Se*ual behaviours. However, we are powerless over lust. It emphasize on the power of free will in human being. But if it happens, if the lust take your control You cant fight with it, you have to seek help by calling your sponser or a friend, or try to avoid that situation by doing something else.

During the reading of the First step, something came to my mind. I was wondering whats mutual between the Firs step of Coda and SA. Its So interesting to me . The reason Ive Become a SA, I suppressed my lust in childhood and told myself this feeling is completely wrong. never talk about it, never admit lust Just deny it. as a result lust Became somethnig forbidden and unnatural in my mind So it was a reason for me to hide myself from others. Ive always thaught Im a bad guy, Im an pervert and I tried to satisfy this feeling by imaganing females around my self and using them as a se* partner in my dreams and thaughts. The more i imagine these thaughts the less i respect myslef as a human. The Relapse in SA is any kind of ejaculation except in dreams which is unwanted. If i wanna compare relapse these two programs i think the relapse in Coda is "hating yourself (sometime you think you hate somebody else) and not accepting yourself anymore as a valuable human and experiencing shame and trying to escape from yourself" . It is defenetly The relapse. Ive experienced it many times, although now ive have a huge progress in my ilness and Ive been experiencing it less and less. 

I have a list of abstinences for SA program. For example watching TV programs on satelite, Watching movies , Staying in bed when I cant sleep and so on. There should be some abstinences in Coda , off the top of my head maybe, Conroling others and waiting for somebody to do something, critisizing others or yourself, feeling that something is wrong about me and it has to be changed so i can feel OK (like quiting meetings) , judging others and analysing their behaviours , when i cant make a decision and i feel i should do something immediately , when i think im different in a group and i feel inadequate (like in English Class) or meetings , When i dream i have to have some quality to become a happier person (like having a car or being perfect in something). Thats it